From Sea to Summit

“The fact is that five years ago I was, as near as possible, a different person to what I am tonight. I, as I am now, didn’t exist at all. Will the same thing happen in the next five years? I hope so.”
― Siegfried Sassoon

It’s bad science to alter multiple variables of a given experiment. It becomes impossible to assert causality when you’re fiddling around with too many different aspects. So it goes for life as well. When great waves of change sweep over an individual, it is nearly impossible to know the source of a given inspiration or loss. In my own life, the last few months have been a barrage of events and I’ve yet to sort out all the conclusions but it’s worth noting that travel has remained at the center of it all.

I haven’t had the proper time to digest the most epic travel of my summer. For nearly a month, I explored the forbidden eastern coast of southern Greenland and the borreal landscape of Iceland. The arctic regions relentlessly call and I reserve a large portion of my wanderlust for those far off lands.

All good adventures must be properly digested, yes? I’ve barely looked through the photos of that amazing summer. When I do, I’ll be removed from the moment so far as to only have mild remembrances. I fear I will be too detached from the rawness of it all.

Immediately after returning to the USA, I had time for only a quick weekend into the mountains when everything changed. I left my job of over four years for various reasons, but primarily to refocus on my writing. And more powerfully, my 90 year old grandfather passed away on September 4th.

So in one moment, I was on top of the high mountains reveling in a summer of wild and wonderful experiences and the next, I’m driving cross country to Connecticut to say good-bye to one of the most influential and beloved people in my life.

It was a long and soulful drive, 32 hours each way. On the way out, I was on the way to mourn my Grandfather. On they way back, it was uncertain what I was returning to. And lost in the shuffle are all the emotions, stories and moments along the way.

But slowly things settle if you are still. And it goes against my nature to be still especially when the last few months had the full spectrum of heightened emotions. Who I am today, what lies before me and all the incredible opportunities ahead are coming into focus. There are still bits of a prior self trying to influence the present yet that voice is weak, soft and it is only in silence is it heard at all. Perhaps for the best, because it is clear the motivations and reality of five years ago do not apply to today and can be cheerfully discarded. With just a bit more tranquility, who exactly I’ve become in the wake of great travel and great loss will be more apparent.