{"id":439,"date":"2010-08-30T09:28:22","date_gmt":"2010-08-30T15:28:22","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.mountainouswords.com\/mountain-air\/?p=439"},"modified":"2010-08-30T09:28:22","modified_gmt":"2010-08-30T15:28:22","slug":"current-score-bee-3-james-5","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.mountainouswords.com\/mountain-air\/current-score-bee-3-james-5\/","title":{"rendered":"Current Score: Bee 3 – James 5"},"content":{"rendered":"

Currently, the score is vicious stinging bee 3, James 5. Here’s how I break it down:<\/p>\n

Bee
\n<\/strong>(+1) – The bee gets a point for stealth tactics, stinging me immediately as I walked out my front door. This is second sting in the last two weeks I’ve gotten, so their secret nest must be nearby.<\/p>\n

(+1) Quick sting tactic — never saw it coming.<\/p>\n

(-1) Bee stung me in the middle of my left forearm. While painful, he could have planted his stinger in a more tender area such as an eyeball, lip or funny bone.<\/p>\n

(+1) 24 hours later and the welt on my arm looks like I blocked a Randy-Johnson thrown mango. The current welt is 3.5 inches long, so the bee must have saved up some serious sting juice.<\/p>\n

(+1) The bee is dead, which seems like it might be a minus but in the bee world, he’s a martyr. Maybe he will ascend to meet a gorgeous queen bee with 72 compound eyes or whatever bee-ish Elysian Fields await.<\/p>\n

(-1) The\u00a0poor dope thought I was a threat to his nectar, pollen or honey. I can buy honey in an adorable little bear-shaped container and truth be told, I’ve cut down on both\u00a0 pollen and nectar in my diet. I think he was just looking for an excuse to sting.<\/p>\n

Total Score = 3<\/strong><\/p>\n

\n

James
\n<\/strong>(+1) For not<\/em> screaming like a frightening school girl after getting stung. No infant-style pinwheeling of the arms in a manic state, just a calm handling of the situation.<\/p>\n

(+1) Unlike the bee, I’m not dead. Yet.<\/p>\n

(+1) Defeated the bee mid-sting by punching, not slapping the fiend to his death. Brilliant accuracy meant I didn’t push the detached stinger deeper into my skin. A simple pluck and both stinger and deceased bee lay wasted on the ground.<\/p>\n

(+2) Took the bee sting instead of Fremont, who likely stirred up the nest.<\/p>\n

(+1) Left behind bee corpse as a warning to other uppity bees.<\/p>\n

(-1) Had to run arm under hottest possible water to draw histamines to skin surface so I could actually get any sleep.<\/p>\n

Total: 5<\/strong><\/p>\n

Since this was round two, I think I’m still ahead on points but if the bees combine their forces I could be in a welty world of hurt. Stay tuned for more man vs. bee action!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

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