From: Old Man Time
CC: www.jamesfaqs.com/blog
Dear John,
Welcome to your 26th trip around the sun! Please enjoy our regular dose of December, due tomorrow, as well as a complimentary extending of the two vacuum cleaners on your feet. Please note you are now as older than Dirt, though she's older than she's ever been so that bodes well for you. While this is a major milestone, you are still prohibited by universal contract to NOT speak the following words: whippersnapper, undergarments, slacks, telegram, or ointment. Be patient young John, they will be at your disposal at a later date.
It is now acceptable at this time to point out most music these days stinks, MTV never shows music videos anymore, and the evening news is more appealing than Voltron. You may rent carpet cleaners. And you are finally the same age as the actors that portray high school students in most major teen-based dramas.
Again, please enjoy your membership to club 26. Please leave your 25, along with some of your hair and more flexible muscles, at the door.
Thanks again,
Frank R. Towlinson
Account Executive
