I have the hardest time answering the question, "What is your favorite movie?" As it is I'm a bit of a movie snob, though when I like a movie I genuinely regard it as a fine piece of work. I am a firm believer in the Dave Barry theorum that a movie's badness is directly proportional to the number of helicopters in it. Add to that, if the camera purposely focuses on chunkhead Bruce Willis whispering "witty" threats, you can bet it's an awful experience. It's easy to come up with the worst movies out there--from League of Extraordinary Gentlemen to Face/Off, the litany of pure crap is resoundingly fruitful.
I don't really know what qualifiers work for the films I do like. I liked Forrest Gump, for example. All the standard fantasy movies (except the generic Harry Potter series) I like. I have a special place in my heart for Willow, The Neverending Story, and The Dark Crytsal. But what really qualifies them as the best?
Well, instead of going with quality I decided to go with quantity. So, by this method, my "favorite" movies thus become the most watched movies. Here's my list:
1-Beastmaster
I've seen this movie approximately 6,347 times, most of those viewings before the age of 10. Beastmaster was genuine grade A independent channel fodder, and WPIX 20 (where I once picked a puppet's nose on live TV) and WSBK 38 out of Boston showed this film 30 times a week. WFOX 5 out of NY had a good showing as well. It's actually not a bad movie, though the loin clothes were somewhat upsetting. I loved the animals and HATED the part where the bad guy, in an act of true stinkiness, tosses one of the animal heroes into the fire. And that weird blue glowing liquid! To sum it up, Beastmaster wins and I believe there were 2 sequels.
2-Clash of the Titans
One of our first VHS tapes back in the day, Amy and I probably watched this one a good 5,190 times. And while most people think it's ultra-corny today, I loved it! The Medusa was way scary and most of the bad guys, roughly animated as they were, were creepy. Again, my favorite character was Bobo, the mechanical owl. Oh, how I longed for a Bobo of my own! Forged by the gods, his head could spin 360 degrees. He ruled.
3-Condor PBS Documentary
When spending my summers in Maine with Gram and Gramp B, we got all of three TV stations. We got a local channel (13 I think), a network channel, and PBS. I'm not sure how it came to be, but the PBS station seemed to run 24 hour viewings of a Condor special, for it was ALWAYS on. And for some reason, I always watched it. Even though I knew that feeding the chick with the rubber condor head turned out successfully, I was oddly riveted by the plight if this hideous bird. And not only was it always on, it must have shown for 5 years, every summer. By the rules I set early, I'm guessing I watched this one 4,567 times so it wins third place, even though it's not technically a movie.
