I went over to my office tonight, to sit and look out at the black, starry, mountain sky. I like the smell of the office, of books and paper, gear and grease. I can shut my eyes and remember first visiting it in 2000, at the grand opening party of the Boulder branch. I recall starting there as an intern in 2002, down on my luck, desperate to make something of this writing pedigree I'm supposed to possess. I remember getting news of my hiring, of progressing from office to office until finally last month, I had a sunny room with a view of the mountains. I envisioned myself working there late into the night, long after everyone had left, the stillness helping fuel the words for my book.

It was an office that brimmed with confidence, talent, and kindness. There was a hope we were making the world somewhat better and the indisputable energy that gave life to so many creative excursions. I take one deep breath, say goodbye, and neatly box up the hope and success that denoted that period in my life. 2002-2006; a time of great chaos, of losses beyond measure and gains never to be forgotten. Unlike the past, I feel better things down the road and I have no regrets having served my tour at Hooked. As a neophyte to the magazine world, Nancy, Doug, and Chris gave legs to my dreams; they were true mentors. I'm more at peace with this departure than it may seem. I soak in one last private, sensory charge; I know this setting will be summoned in seances in old age. And it will be sad because these times are fading, but I know there is nothing more for us here. And with one last glance at the past four years of my life, of the triumphs and failures, I turn out the lights and lock the door.

Posted by James Dziezynski @ 9:15 PM