There's nothing like the NFL playoffs to make one as utterly unproductive as possible. I actually took a day off (!) on Sunday to watch the final two divisional games: Bears/Seahawks and Patriots/Chargers. Both were good watchin' and I'm left with a few observations:

You don't have to be one of the nerds at the Elias Sports Bureau to see that many, many NFL games end with the winning team running out the clock. What drives me crazy is that coaches routinely use their precious 3 timeouts allotted per half in the worst ways. For example, this weekend San Diego used two of their 3 timeouts in extremely stupid situations: after a 2+ minute TV timeout (before even running a play) and to challenge a fumble that was without question correctly called the field. The third they used to stop the clock prior to a Patriots field goal attempt, the only acceptable use of the 3.

It should be apparent time-outs are more valuable than gridiron gold. How many times do you see a QB call a time out on a 2nd and 4 play early in the third quarter? Why? If you have to, take the delay of game penalty and the 5 yard loss, but don't burn those time outs unless you must! These are professional teams with very well-paid offensive and defensive coordinators whose job it is to call the plays! San Diego would have had a much better chance to win had they had a few time outs to work with in the final drive. Lucky for me, I'm a Patriots fan...

Every single dazzling kick or punt return I've seen this year has been plagued with penalties. Devon Hester's exciting punt-return touchdown for the Bears was called back on a blocking foul, making the number of scoring returns I've seen brought back this year to 6. 6! Anyone who watches football knows that refs can technically call a penalty on any given play but they really need to relax on kick returns.

Think of it this way: there are two rare treats for the NFL fan. One is watching an enormous defensive lineman try to run for a score following a fumble--don't forget shots of the big boy heaving oxygen on the sideline after the "run"! The other is watching a hapless kicker/punter getting blown up trying to make a saving tackle or else, mincing out of the way while pathetically feigning an attempt to actually slow down the ball carrier. Refs, don't deny us the pleasure of watching a kicker get flattened! The D-man recovery is much more rare so lets give teams a chance to jack up a punter when they can! For the fans!

During the Saints/Eagles game on Saturday, the camera locked on a female Saints fan cheering on her team. Nothing wrong there, right? Well, she was wearing a half-shirt that said "F&$%@ Da Iggles". Usually when a camera pans to something like this, they quickly change the shot to something less offensive. Not that I particularly care but in this case the camera stayed on the fan for a solid 5 seconds-- which is a long time in TV terms! It's not the children I'm worried about seeing something like this, it's the drunk, angry Philly fans who will only be more belligerent after witnessing said shirt.

While that's somewhat tasteless, what's downright disgusting is all the slow-mo footage of players throwing up. Barfing mid-game is apparently this year's little black dress. Whether horking into a garbage can, oozing through the bars of their facemask or purging on their own shoes, if I have to watch one more player blowing chunks in 1080i high-def, I'm gonna be sick myself. The only thing worse...and it has been shown in the past...is footage of a player soiling himself right there on national TV. Football is a game of blood and guts but please, it doesn't have to be a game of pee and puke! God help you if ever you stumble upon the "Real TV" clip that shows a horrible, horrible "exchange" between center and QB.

IN OTHER NEWS..
At some time this week, I hope to play through one of my favorite NES games of all time, Blaster Master. It's a shame the game lacks a password feature. Thank goodness for emulators! Does anyone remember my ultra-cool Blaster Master T-shirt (I think Marc D. inherited it at some point)? I may even make a map or 2 for gamefaqs, the first contribution I'll have made in a long while.

In what would have been a sad moment, I thought I had lost my favorite watch this weekend playing volleyball. My black Suunto Vector has a good deal of personal significance--it has gone with me on every major trip I've been on since 2003, including the Arctic, Greenland, St. Lucia, Nevis, Puerto Rico, Yellowstone, Jasper and many more. It was one of the three pieces of gear that was with me for every hike of my book this past summer (along with my small digital camera and my eXplorist 600 GPS). After two days of searching I found it stuck in the side pouch of my backpack, no worse for the wear! Hurray! Here's to many more adventures with my favorite time piece.

That's all for now! Tomorrow, depending on how much work I have on my plate might be a snowboarding day-- only my second time out this season! Of course, I have such strange work items coming in these days, it's hard to say when I'll next either have a day off OR a viable source of income! Well, I'm off to rescue a frog...