Anyhow, I did make it into the shiny studios with lots of well dressed people and plenty of mysterious locked doors behind which I assumed was an actual living Homer Simpson. Before going on air, I was escorted to the "Green Room", which was actually blue and didn't have any croissants but did have a 9.25 lb Nestle's Crunch Bar (which I initially mistook for Crunch!:The Board Game).
Morning news shows must be a weird environment to work in, since you basically have to block out any emotion and do the job. Before my piece, there was a cool adopt-a-pet feature about a ferret, then lots of sad frowny-face news about 5 dudes who died in a pipe explosion at a hydro-electric plant. Just before my piece, a guy went on talking about how he was staging a counter-protest to Boulder High School students who were protesting having to say "Under God" in the pledge. His summary was that Boulder's a bunch of godless, liberal freaks.
"And next up on our program, James Dziezynski from Boulder. This freak will be here talking about his godless book about hiking mountains built by Jesus! Tune in!"
Ok, it wasn't that bad, but a strange act to follow. As the staff shuffled the other guy off the set, I was ushered on and told to sit in a chair and before I could say "where should I look?" the interview was on live! I wasn't nervous but I didn't really know if I should gaze into the camera with dreamy abandon or stare into the eyes of my interviewer, which seemed a little weird. She (Crytsal Egger, meteorologist and Dr. Robotnik henchman) was actually very nice and professional. After talking about my favorite peak and a few other mountain related stories, my fleeting moment was over and I was escorted out, still croissantless. The whole thing took about as much time as an office restroom break.
I almost walked out with the little clippy microphone but caught it poking into my adam's apple right before getting in my car. I was thinking of poaching a cubit of the Crunch bar when I walked back in to return the mic, but it looks like it had been sitting there since 1997 so I opted to grab a sandwich on the way home instead.
Oh, if you get a second, please stroke John's paternal ego and vote for his post here. All of his posts are good to read and a vote for John is a vote against the horrifying HazYaz photoshop abomination he created, though I'm not 100% sure how that is. The best part is you don't have to sign up for anything to vote!
Anyhow, now that the interview is done I'll just sit back and wait for the fan mail to come pouring in! (Note: Much like John is trying to win votes for his blog, I'm hoping I get more fan mail than the ferret, though he really was an expert showman--talk about playing an audience into his paws!)
