Winter will pass in ten days.
Maybe it was the stress of an uncertain national agenda, maybe it was the proliferation of certain viral strains, but whatever the case, a LOT of people were sick this year. I've seen several people who are very healthy and rarely succumb to anything more severe than the sniffles absolutely floored by flu-like illnesses. Whatever the source of these machinations, winter has infected the skies with more than just fluffy snowflakes. All the Echinacea and orange juice in the world hasn't helped.
Apparently, the best preventative is a balanced diet of flavor blasted goldfish, Gatorade, and jolly ranchers. To paraphrase the recently departed Hunter S. Thompson, I wouldn't recommend it to anyone, but it worked for me. My main winter staple seems to have done the trick because
(puts on anti-instant karma shield)
I haven't been sick this winter.
I've had my fair share of stress, lot of travel, not a whole lot of money, and spent a generous amount of time around the afflicted. I work in an office frequented by l'il children, dogs, and hippies. I have exercised a lot but haven't slept well overall and I own a small cat (who also got sick this winter.) There's only three conclusions I've reached:
1-I'm extremely lucky. My "golden immune system" has stayed fully charged and my blood cells put in overtime to keep the ol' 1976 model James Dziezynski running in good form.
2-The plot of "The Stand" is actually happening and I'm one of the chosen few made to thwart the evil plans of devil. While my Grandma Moses dreams have been sparse, I HAVE been to Nebraska and Ogunquit, Maine. I assume I'm on the side of good, which is awesome because I don't even have to leave Boulder. Since I've had no inclinations to visit Las Vegas, I can say I'm likely one of the good guys. As soon as the plague wipes the unchosen from the face of the earth, I know the exact house on Mapleton Avenue I'll be moving to!
3-I'm going to get so incredibly sick in the next few weeks, I'll look like the unfortunate space traveler featured in the stunning Fox documentary "Alien Autopsy".
What do you guys think?
