Last Day in Boulder For While
Wednesday, January 26, 2005
Salt Lake City, here I come! Yahoo!!!!!

I'll be at the Outdoor Retail show, so no web updates until next Tuesday. I've left you all with a wonderfully thought provoking essay from yesterday which I fully expect no one to read.

Oh, and I got my new recording module, the Tascam US224. It's essentially a recording specific soundcard, high quality, easy to use, fun stuff. Expect music projects soon. Sadly, it doesn't come equipped with studio magic so don't expect to hear my awful voice singing anytime in the near future.

Short Essay: Avoiding the Wasteland
Tuesday, January 25, 2005
A thought on pop-culture, literature, and my own days.

One of the more profound pieces of literature that has frustrated many an English 101 student is T.S. Eliot's "The Wasteland". Before addressing the poem, I have to say at times, it's hard to appreciate Eliot. Given his writing talent and impressive range of tone (from the dreary bleakness of "The Wasteland" to countless cheery and lighthearted poems about cats), his most prolific and well-known work lock him as an important voice of his generation. As a person outside the pages, he was an admitted racist and anti-Semitic, a bitter and pretentious man whose swollen ego was in contrast to his social inaptitude and maligned self-image. That being said, I re-read "The Wasteland" from time to time as it's one of the more brilliant pieces of writing from the Modernist era.

What I greatly enjoy in this poem is Eliot's notion that classic references and glorified history gets annihilated in the firestorm of World War One. Gone in the flames are the notions of nobility and monarchies, the image of the majestic soldier, the folly that man is capable of a higher state where conflict is conquered by reason and peaceful debate, and lofty references to great civilizations of the past merely serve as a crutch for explaining societies' chronically ill-advised idea of nationality. In other words, we built the systems of man on a powder keg. The inevitable lighting of the fuse reduced to the world to a stark, cold place where not only was the present destroyed but all instances of the past. The wasteland.

As a means of brilliant framing, Eliot uses material from earlier in the poem as a self-referencial metaphor. In other words, instead of using famous (or in the case of your more pretencious artists, obscure) alliterations from society as a whole, he uses his own untainted experience as symbolism. And you get it.

The point here is that we construct ourselves from so many faulty components that it becomes obvious we can only create the keystones of our lives from our own lessons, with that we begin to evolve from the wasteland. I believe firmly those higher passions need to be nurtured with our own definitions, our own values. We sing a song because it gives us joy, we climb a mountain and revel in the summit instead of lamenting our not being the first to do so. We write stories because our hearts overflow with so much emotion, we need to first eliminate the audience and please ourselves, in context of our own realities.

To simplify that without channeling the spirit of Ayn Rand in excess, our personal lives can reach a point where we see the weakness in adopted values and alien logic, we need to let that inevitable internal conflagration rage. This is not tabula-rasa inspired logic because we can never have a clean slate, but we can define our future philosophies on the experience of our own lives. And, perhaps most notably, in a watered down society, we can be our own wonderful metaphors.

All this boils down to how we're able to focus our days. It's always been easy for thinking men and women to be utterly amazed at the impact of pop culture. Indeed, culture is the curse of the thinking class. Worse still is when pop culture becomes the metaphor for OUR lives. Our days are long and dominated by our will, why would we ever let our view of ourselves rise from anything other than our own memories? I've faced a great many flaws in my personality in the past year and should I need a source for metaphoric conflict, I can simply unlock the troubled traits that had to be destroyed to create a new foundation. The metaphor is my own, the destruction and loss has occurred at my own hand, and no redemption is feasible in the confines of the past. Too many interpreted sources became internalized and the struggles cleansed.

If you didn't have the patience to read all this convoluted logic, the final conclusion is this: one can benefit greatly by creating a system of one's own vision. Shared visions in mass agreement only lead to pacification and inevitable break down. You must create your own reality and leave others to their own and only lend your heart when it befits your own peace.

The great writers of early epics and pre-medieval masterpieces had to create solely on the buzz of knowledge that crackled in between the white noise of their society. They were able to craft legends and allegories free of complicated alliterations. Think of it this way; Tolkien, author of the Lord of the Rings, had notions of previous legends but went ahead and sculpted his work without relying on them to be the "meat" of his ideas. The meat, as it is, was from his own heart. Had his books failed and not sold, it didn't matter in the larger scheme. His was a higher form of art and had the lucky course to get recognized by the masses. Of course, with that success he has defined a whole genre of imagination that is constantly stolen by others, such as the Harry Potter series, that brings nothing new to the table. Does that make it bad? Not necessarily, but it does negate the thrust of the author's own creativity. Her metaphors are those of others, she merely sculpts her world around what has already been established.

Again, is that wrong? Of course not. But when we allow our stories to be of our own flavor and of our own experience, we can strive for meaning in every action, notably when we designate our minds that keener awareness. And that is how I want to live my life. I wish I could start the process and maintain it. That's my challenge for the present to see that notion through to some inevitable end--be it the summit of a far away mountain or the completion of a book. In the end, that is all there is to give meaning to a man's name.



Monday Madness!
Monday, January 24, 2005
Two things were amiss as I woke this morn.

1) I was actually awake and alert at 6:30 AM without the aid of terrifying alarm clocks or amorous upstairs neighbors.

2) I had a bizarre and irrational urge to play the classic NES/Arcade game Marble Madness.

The weekend was pretty good. Saturday was another day of snowboarding fun, this time at the icy tundra of Winter Park. Sunday was a football bonanza, highlighted by a gluttonous pile of wings and F-F-Fanta soda.

Today and tomorrow are my last free days for a while. I leave for Mormon land on Thursday for the Salt Lake City Outdoor Retailer trade show. Wednesday I have my flash animation class and a dentist appointment (ouch).

My goals today include finally updating my non-journal web site and eating a filet o'fish sandwich. For those of you hoping to see more stupid flash animation, I dare you to hit that perfect meatball.

Don't Laugh, It's (now) Paid For
Friday, January 21, 2005
It's official! The sporty, hail damaged 89' Accord is officially mine! I gave my last payment today. I no longer have to worry about my 110 lb. boss Nancy (from whom I bought the car) breaking my knee caps with a crow bar! Hurrah! To celebrate my last car payment, I walked to work today.

Add to that the fact it's currently 74 degrees in Boulder--on January 21, essentially the heart of winter. Those truck commercials you see on TV where the rugged but shiny SUV busts through snow drifts in the high Rocky Mountains--that's all done with computers (or filmed in Canada).

Saturday I plan to get in a 'wee bit of snowboarding, Sunday is time to watch football. If it snows in Pennsylvania, we'll get two playoff games, both the best-in-the-world snowy NFL playoff games.

Hopefully my office won't stink on Monday. I had onion and anchovy pizza sit overnight in the half-opened box, so as Doug puts it, "It smells like dudes just got done playing dungeons and dragons in here". Yeah, it has that sort of greasy, unbathed, rotten fish stench. Time to light up the incense and open the window! Oh wait, I don't have any windows, time to bash a hole in the wall!

Conglamorations to ME!
Thursday, January 20, 2005
Gah, finally beat that level on F-zero GX (Story mode, Chapter 7 Very Hard). I did it with a time of 2:49', which is odd because I'd previously failed with times of 2:41', 2:43', and 2:45'. Instead of racing in my normal style (skill, finesse, savvy) I opted to race Marc-style (KRUSH ALL KOMPETITION!!). I crushed my two main opponents and ran a fairly aggressive last lap and thus the challenge is overcome.



In work related news, I got to take a Flash animation class yesterday. Just wait, I'll be able to soon produce the silly cartoons you see on this blog. I'm writing an article about Connecticut's state high point (seen above). It's the 4th or 5th time I've been there. This was the first time I came in from the Massachusetts side (or the other New York side, depending on where you park). I went with Paul "he doesn't have a nickname" Bartok, t'was a great time.

In other news, I ran 4 miles last night in 26 minutes. I'm sure running at night with assorted vagrants and creeps in the woods along the running paths would increase anyone's time.


Fat Slug In Your Eyes
Tuesday, January 18, 2005
I ain't mister right, but if you're looking for fat slug...


Is this a metaphor for life?
Monday, January 17, 2005


I'm trying to write up a decent guide for the Very Hard missions on F-Zero GX. Chapter 7 is driving me a wee bit batty; I have a solid strategy but continually face the oddest deaths on the last lap--getting CRUSHED from behind, falling off an easy section of the track, opponents landmining in front me, etc. This is a pain for sure, but not quite so bad as the Gold Medal mission in the Battle of Endor from Rogue Leader (my FAQ is on the games part of this site, by the way). That was a soul crushing experience. This is merely aura-scraping.


Behind the Curtain
Wednesday, January 12, 2005
You know what ruled? Danielson's "shower" Halloween costume. Remember, from Karate Kid? The dude went to his first big party as a shower. And a good shower too--he was able to dance, ascend stairs, drink punch, etc. all in the relative comfort of his own portable stall. It reminded me of a great costume I wore in 3rd grade which won me a coveted "honorable mention" in the Bucks Hill Halloween pageant. I was a loaf of Wonderbread. A BIG loaf of Wonderbread, so big that I needed a spotter (my Mom) just to parade in front of the judges. The set up was essentially a chicken-wire cylinder with a spray painted white sheet thrown over it. I think my Dad or someone taller than me had previously worn the outfit because I would have needed a periscope to see out of the pre fabricated eye holes.

My world was a loaf of whimsy, a sea of blurry sounds, and the faint smell of wet rust from the wire frame. Imagine the surreal atmosphere, confined in that cone of snowy wonder, following my Mom's muffled commands, completely immune to the prying eyes of curious and envious youngsters, unsure if I was in the spotlight or in the bathroom. I think I was sheathed/unsheathed in the parking lot, meaning I never actually saw the inside of the school, nor the ribbon pinned to my sheet. Still, I went home a winner!

So here's a salute to every shower and loaf of bread that has stumbled upon the big party in style!

Joke of the Day
Monday, January 10, 2005
The LAPD, The FBI, and the CIA are all trying to prove that they are the best at apprehending criminals. The President decides to give them a test. He releases a rabbit into a forest and has each of them try to catch it.

The CIA goes in. They place animal informants throughout the forest. They question all plant and mineral witnesses. After three months of extensive investigations they conclude that rabbits do not exist.

The FBI goes in. After two weeks with no leads they burn the forest, killing everything in it, including the rabbit, and they make no apologies. The rabbit had it coming.

The LAPD goes in. They come out two hours later with a badly beaten raccoon. The raccoon is yelling: "Okay! Okay! I'm a rabbit! I'm a rabbit!"

PWNED!!!!
Friday, January 07, 2005


One more cat clip for your viewing pleasure. CLICK HERE to see the battle between Two-Paws and Thunderbutt.

Kommunist Kittens: We Dancing With Facism
Tuesday, January 04, 2005


The lyrics, best as I can translate:

"ONE, TWO, THREE, FOUR
BRUEDERCHEN, COME DANCE WITH ME
ONE, TWO,THREE, FOUR
BOTH HANDS REALM I YOU
ONE, TWO, THREE, FOUR MY FRIENDS,
DANCE WITH ME
UNITY, TWO, THREE, FOUR
ROUND AROUND, THAT IS NOT HEAVY
WE DANCING ADO HINKEL
BENZINO NAPOLONI WE DANCING SCHIEKELGRUEBER AND
DANCING WITH MAITREYA WITH TOTALITARISMUS AND WITH DEMOCRACY WE
DANCING WITH FASCISM AND RED ANARCHY


Original German:
EINS, ZWEI, DREI, VIER
BRUEDERCHEN, KOMM TANZ MIT MIR
EINS, ZWEI, DREI, VIER
BEIDE HAENDE REICH ICH DIR
EINS, ZWEI, DREI, VIER
MEINE FREUNDE, TANZ MIT MIR
EINS, ZWEI, DREI, VIER
RUNDHERUM, DAS IST NICHT SCHWER
WIR TANZEN ADO HINKEL
BENZINO NAPOLONI
WIR TANZEN SCHIEKELGRUEBER
UND TANZEN MIT MAITREYA
MIT TOTALITARISMUS
UND MIT DEMOKRATIE
WIR TANZEN MIT FASCHISMUS
UND ROTER ANARCHIE




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