*Jamesfaqs.com cannot be updated until I can convince my computer and the server to be friends. When they kiss and make up, get ready for a site redesign/improvement.
*I have pictures of the wife ready to put up--again, just waiting for server access. We had a good day in Boulder :)
*I'll be sleeping on a train for the first time ever tomorrow night. That means I've slept in/on: an icebreaker, planes, a train, hotels, home, tents, and out in the open in the past year.
*My passport has three stamps so far: Canada (Nanisivik), Qaanaaq (Greenland), and OMG CANADA AGAIN (Vancouver).
*Get ready for more content and fun stuff on www.ruhooked.com. Our "content bomb" is about to drop.
*I'm too busy to be clever today :( Sorry. No fun links.
*15 days until I'm living solo again.
*Here's the result from the great Wind-Up Toy Race:
1st place: Hopping frog
2nd place: Hopping Toucan
3rd place: Flipping Race Car
4th place: Hopping Chick
5th place: Giant lady bug
6th place: Walking brain
7th place: Hopping Leiderhosen
8th place: Rolling sushi
*Christina's middle name is Beth
*I'll be in Jasper, Alberta if you need me!
Friday, February 25, 2005
In order to buy a deck of cards on a Cherokee Indian reserve in North Carolina, the wise old Indian elder behind the counter insisted I marry Christina because it is a disgrace for a woman to have money and for a man to have none. (We won't go there.) Since Christina had a few bucks (my wallet was off in Pennsylvania somewhere in my stolen van) and I had none, we thus wed and she became my property and her money magically became mine! It was great! SHE gave the dude the cash, he gave ME the change! I assume by that system, the cards are mine too.
Now, if I was married to every girl who had money when I didn't let's just say I'd feel right at home in Utah.
The good news: Christina will be out in Colorado this weekend! It'll be great to see her--our 7th anniversary will be March 20th, 2005. I think we've done well with her being in North Carolina and I in Colorado. I can even post a picture of us as a Christmas card preview on Monday...if I have time. I'm off to Vancouver Tuesday morning to hang out at Jasper National Park, sadly without the little missus'.
Now, if I was married to every girl who had money when I didn't let's just say I'd feel right at home in Utah.
The good news: Christina will be out in Colorado this weekend! It'll be great to see her--our 7th anniversary will be March 20th, 2005. I think we've done well with her being in North Carolina and I in Colorado. I can even post a picture of us as a Christmas card preview on Monday...if I have time. I'm off to Vancouver Tuesday morning to hang out at Jasper National Park, sadly without the little missus'.
Wednesday, February 23, 2005
I bring tidings of great news! The giant manure fire of '05 has been extinguished!
Actually, it should be considered the great manure fire of '04-'05 because the thing has been burning for FOUR MONTHS! The doo-doo conflagration began in late October in Nebraska (and they say there isn't anything to see in Nebraska)and had been burning ever since. This was no little soft-serve, poopy-patty, this was the mother of all cow chips. Measuring 100 feet long, 30 feet (!) high, and 50 feet wide, the pile is thought to have ignited when heat from the bottom of the pile combusted. And you thought burning man was the best flamed-based celebration! Burning Patty is way better!
Powered by the farts of some 20,000 cows, the methane in the poo was efficient enough to smolder throughout the chilly winter. Now you may not know this, but I am a bit of an expert when it comes to flaming piles of...stuff. I worked on a mulching crew in Southbury when I was in college and I can attest, the bottom of those piles gets steaming hot. Ours was more wood debris than cow debris, but it was still smokin' on chilly mornings. No one could smoke around the pile and we had to use plastic pitchforks as not to ignite the steamy recesses of fortified, fertilized, ground cover. Better safe than smelly, right?
Anyhow, thus ends a great era in Nebraska's history. Since the fire is now out, if you're in town, why not visit carhenge, a tribute to the gods constructed by redneck druids to honor the forces of nature: white magic, black magic, Buick magic, and I assume, corn magic.
Actually, it should be considered the great manure fire of '04-'05 because the thing has been burning for FOUR MONTHS! The doo-doo conflagration began in late October in Nebraska (and they say there isn't anything to see in Nebraska)and had been burning ever since. This was no little soft-serve, poopy-patty, this was the mother of all cow chips. Measuring 100 feet long, 30 feet (!) high, and 50 feet wide, the pile is thought to have ignited when heat from the bottom of the pile combusted. And you thought burning man was the best flamed-based celebration! Burning Patty is way better!
Powered by the farts of some 20,000 cows, the methane in the poo was efficient enough to smolder throughout the chilly winter. Now you may not know this, but I am a bit of an expert when it comes to flaming piles of...stuff. I worked on a mulching crew in Southbury when I was in college and I can attest, the bottom of those piles gets steaming hot. Ours was more wood debris than cow debris, but it was still smokin' on chilly mornings. No one could smoke around the pile and we had to use plastic pitchforks as not to ignite the steamy recesses of fortified, fertilized, ground cover. Better safe than smelly, right?
Anyhow, thus ends a great era in Nebraska's history. Since the fire is now out, if you're in town, why not visit carhenge, a tribute to the gods constructed by redneck druids to honor the forces of nature: white magic, black magic, Buick magic, and I assume, corn magic.
Monday, February 21, 2005
They both can be found in this fun, time wasting game!
Fun waste of time!
All you have to do is pick your favorite TV character or dictator and answer the questions it asks of you!
I was unable to stump it with the following characters:
Dora from I Married Dora
Lynn from Alf
Pol Pot
Duffman from the Simpsons
Theo from the Cosby Show
Give it a try!
Fun waste of time!
All you have to do is pick your favorite TV character or dictator and answer the questions it asks of you!
I was unable to stump it with the following characters:
Dora from I Married Dora
Lynn from Alf
Pol Pot
Duffman from the Simpsons
Theo from the Cosby Show
Give it a try!
Wednesday, February 16, 2005
Ugh, April 14, 1976=Disco Lady by Johnny Taylor
I don't even know the song but I can imagine it's chucka-chucka-chucka!
Find your song here (click on Birthday #1 on the chart at the top)
Post your results!!
I don't even know the song but I can imagine it's chucka-chucka-chucka!
Find your song here (click on Birthday #1 on the chart at the top)
Post your results!!
Tuesday, February 15, 2005
I get to visit my old friend Moroni tomorrow when I head back to Salt Lake City for a 4-day snowboarding press trip. Moroni isn't some Italian meathead, he's the golden statue holding a trumpet that is perched atop the Great Mormon Temple in downtown Salt Lake City. Apparently, he was the one who told Joseph Smith about the golden plates that the Book of Mormon were written upon. In addition, he was the last surviving member of some North American white dudes (Nephites?) according to the book of Mormon, and later became an angelic representative of the powers that be. Not bad for a guy whose name sounds like a food that comes in a small cardboard box, I.E. Kraft Moroni N' Cheese, Rice-A-Moroni, or Moroni Baloney.
But I digress.
The trip itself should be fun and while I may be a neophyte to the boarding/ski world, the snow I've played on in Utah is light, fluffy, and abundant, sort of like miles and miles of cold shredded coconut. I've already prepared myself to get schooled by punky15 12 year old snowboarders. I wear a giant helmet that enhances my already large head so even if I were a top pro on the slopes, I'd still look like a silver bobblehead toy. In a sport where style counts, I'm lucky if I'm wearing matching gloves.
This time I'm leaving no lengthy discourse on anything important in my web blog, rather a simple joke for you all:
Q:What kind of music does a frog listen to?
Tune in Saturday for the answer!
The picture above was taken in the 9th hour of a 9-hour day romping through the snow to James Peak. I'd safely say 75-80% of the day was spent in white out conditions, much like the last time I went to James Peak in the winter. Winds were sustained somewhere in the 60-70 mph range, but Sheila and I made it the top and more importantly, back down again. James Peak is officially listed at 13,294 feet though the GPS measured it being a wee bit higher.
It must be said that white-out vertigo is a bad feeling; your eyes simply cannot focus on anything and no matter where you look, you see depthless white. Especially on downhills, this can be disorienting. In this case, I made a point of looking down at my blue snowshoes to get a little bit of the contours of the snow.
I've been to James Peak now a total of 5 times. Twice I didn't make it to the top because of weather, once I almost got killed by lightning after the summit, and then this time I could hardly see 4 feet in front of me. One time did I get up in good style with no life threatening tendrils of mother nature grasping at my mortal soul.
Overall, 3/5 on the summits.
Sunday was much more mellow, worked on my book proposal and helped Cyrus try to fix his car while noticing my own trusty 89' Honda Accord is starting to ride a little rough. I guess it wouldn't be a Dziezynski car if it wasn't about to fall apart.
Oh and for you lovebirds out there, Happy Valentine's Day. May you suckle sweetly from any she-wolf that is kind enough to lend a teat. :)
But I digress.
The trip itself should be fun and while I may be a neophyte to the boarding/ski world, the snow I've played on in Utah is light, fluffy, and abundant, sort of like miles and miles of cold shredded coconut. I've already prepared myself to get schooled by punky
This time I'm leaving no lengthy discourse on anything important in my web blog, rather a simple joke for you all:
Q:What kind of music does a frog listen to?
Tune in Saturday for the answer!
Monday, February 14, 2005
The picture above was taken in the 9th hour of a 9-hour day romping through the snow to James Peak. I'd safely say 75-80% of the day was spent in white out conditions, much like the last time I went to James Peak in the winter. Winds were sustained somewhere in the 60-70 mph range, but Sheila and I made it the top and more importantly, back down again. James Peak is officially listed at 13,294 feet though the GPS measured it being a wee bit higher.
It must be said that white-out vertigo is a bad feeling; your eyes simply cannot focus on anything and no matter where you look, you see depthless white. Especially on downhills, this can be disorienting. In this case, I made a point of looking down at my blue snowshoes to get a little bit of the contours of the snow.
I've been to James Peak now a total of 5 times. Twice I didn't make it to the top because of weather, once I almost got killed by lightning after the summit, and then this time I could hardly see 4 feet in front of me. One time did I get up in good style with no life threatening tendrils of mother nature grasping at my mortal soul.
Overall, 3/5 on the summits.
Sunday was much more mellow, worked on my book proposal and helped Cyrus try to fix his car while noticing my own trusty 89' Honda Accord is starting to ride a little rough. I guess it wouldn't be a Dziezynski car if it wasn't about to fall apart.
Oh and for you lovebirds out there, Happy Valentine's Day. May you suckle sweetly from any she-wolf that is kind enough to lend a teat. :)
Friday, February 11, 2005
Does anyone else remember when Nickelodeon used to have the yearly Toys R Us contest? The winning kid, AKA the luckiest kid on earth, would have five minutes in the store and everything he was able to grab, he got to keep. I used to have dreams about charting out a strategy at the Waterbury Toys R Us, what aisles to hit (games, legos, bikes, slot cars, sports equipment) and which aisles to avoid (girl and baby crap.) I could imagine the euphoric bliss of being the ultimate winner of the ultimate prize, dashing through the store wild-eyed and breathless, until I lay exhausted at the cash register amongst my hearty pile of booty.
Much like you, I never won.
Inevitably, some glassy eyed fink of a kid would win. He would offer no enthusiasm or, if he say, hopped up in a feigned expression of joy, it would come off as insincere as a politician. I think there was a conspiracy at work. I bet the memo at Toys R Us read something like this:
Dear Toys R Us Stock Holders,
The time has come again for us to choose a winner for our toy run. In order to minimize loss and maximize exposure, I would like remind our scouting teams of the criteria they must use to select a winner. Their job is to find children whose inabilities, ranging from pure girth to poor navigational skills, will render them nearly useless in a five minute shoplifting orgy. Our ideal candidate should have any/all of these qualities:
1-Fat kids. Fat kids, no matter how excited, will tend to wear out in 46 seconds or less according to our research. Often, they are misled by the easily replaceable stocks of candy and snacks in our stores. Such candidates should always begin their toy runs in vicinity of the sweetest of treats and as far from the expensive merchandise as possible. Also note: whereas your more nimble children would easily scale store shelves for the highest prizes, fat kids can only gaze longingly at the seemingly out of reach baubles. Both attempting to climb shelves/pondering the unreachable items burns time off the clock and puts money back in our wallets.
2-Easily intimidated youngsters. When these kids see the circus of people and humans in giraffe costumes staring at them through expressionless eyeholes, they'll crack faster than an egg under Oprah. Add a few TV cameras and bright lights and these chaps will be paralyzed with unadulterated fear. Even the lure of the shiniest Darth Vader helmet will have no sway over the frightened individual. Combine this fear with fat and you have a superb candidate.
3-Coordination. Make sure the child has not played or even dabbled in any athletic endeavors. Look for untied shoes and facial ketchup stains from errant attempts to place a frankfurter within the confines of the mouth. These are the types of children that will attempt to armsweep a full row of plush animals into a moving cart, only to have most of the stuffed critters fall harmlessly to the floor (and back into our inventory!)
4-Foreign kids. A great choice, especially if they are from third world countries. Where most American kids are fat, greedy little punks who want nothing more than boom boxes and Omnibots, your average Guatemalan tyke will selflessly aim for the useful products such as band-aids, blankets, sneakers, Lil' Jugs fruit drinks, and other practical (and easily replaced) sundries. Be sure to remove useful fixtures such as fire extinguishers, as they are costly to replace and inevitably end up in the carts of such children.
5-Poor navigation. A child that rushes up and down the GI Joe Aisle 6 times is our target here. Easily misled children will tend to have a hard time finding the cash register, which as we all know, must be attained for the legal exchange of toys to take place. Removing aisle numbers and placing the same item on every end-cap will further confuse these rugrats and ensure minimal loss.
In closing, our ideal candidate is a sheepish, overweight, uncoordinated, partially blind kid from Belize. Hopefully in finding the proper child, we will have that fatty so rattled he'll be lucky to exit the store with a handful of gummi worms.
Sincerely,
Geoffrey P. Giraffe
Founder and Overlord
See, it all makes sense.
Keep in mind, I still would enter the contest even at age 28 and I bet my enthusiasm would hardly be dampened if I won. Heck, I'm twice as big and fast as when I was 12, I would clean house. Let me know if they bring the contest back, ok?
Also: what has happened to the past winners? Assuming there were a few normal kids, did they expire at a young age, having reached a mythical state of enlightenment? Were they so satiated by their toy-fueled Nirvana that they no longer had anything to live for? Are they still now, years later, opening fresh toys from the spree and enjoying them in a leisurely garden where the sun always shines?
Or were they all the terrified fatties we saw winning year after year, no better for the experience?
The world may never know...
Go USA!
There are some real morans here in Colorado. The biggest moran has to be our lousy governer, Bill Owens. Owens is trying to get the University of Colorado regents to fire a tenured professor, Ward Churchill, for his remarks in a published essay regarding 9/11. Nothing like a little Big Brother action here in Boulder. Free speech always gets a little less free when comments carry the weight of truth against the ordained policies of those in control.
3 PM here, about time for me to finally indulge in breakfast/lunch/dinner. In the meantime, I'm going to get a brain.
Much like you, I never won.
Inevitably, some glassy eyed fink of a kid would win. He would offer no enthusiasm or, if he say, hopped up in a feigned expression of joy, it would come off as insincere as a politician. I think there was a conspiracy at work. I bet the memo at Toys R Us read something like this:
Dear Toys R Us Stock Holders,
The time has come again for us to choose a winner for our toy run. In order to minimize loss and maximize exposure, I would like remind our scouting teams of the criteria they must use to select a winner. Their job is to find children whose inabilities, ranging from pure girth to poor navigational skills, will render them nearly useless in a five minute shoplifting orgy. Our ideal candidate should have any/all of these qualities:
1-Fat kids. Fat kids, no matter how excited, will tend to wear out in 46 seconds or less according to our research. Often, they are misled by the easily replaceable stocks of candy and snacks in our stores. Such candidates should always begin their toy runs in vicinity of the sweetest of treats and as far from the expensive merchandise as possible. Also note: whereas your more nimble children would easily scale store shelves for the highest prizes, fat kids can only gaze longingly at the seemingly out of reach baubles. Both attempting to climb shelves/pondering the unreachable items burns time off the clock and puts money back in our wallets.
2-Easily intimidated youngsters. When these kids see the circus of people and humans in giraffe costumes staring at them through expressionless eyeholes, they'll crack faster than an egg under Oprah. Add a few TV cameras and bright lights and these chaps will be paralyzed with unadulterated fear. Even the lure of the shiniest Darth Vader helmet will have no sway over the frightened individual. Combine this fear with fat and you have a superb candidate.
3-Coordination. Make sure the child has not played or even dabbled in any athletic endeavors. Look for untied shoes and facial ketchup stains from errant attempts to place a frankfurter within the confines of the mouth. These are the types of children that will attempt to armsweep a full row of plush animals into a moving cart, only to have most of the stuffed critters fall harmlessly to the floor (and back into our inventory!)
4-Foreign kids. A great choice, especially if they are from third world countries. Where most American kids are fat, greedy little punks who want nothing more than boom boxes and Omnibots, your average Guatemalan tyke will selflessly aim for the useful products such as band-aids, blankets, sneakers, Lil' Jugs fruit drinks, and other practical (and easily replaced) sundries. Be sure to remove useful fixtures such as fire extinguishers, as they are costly to replace and inevitably end up in the carts of such children.
5-Poor navigation. A child that rushes up and down the GI Joe Aisle 6 times is our target here. Easily misled children will tend to have a hard time finding the cash register, which as we all know, must be attained for the legal exchange of toys to take place. Removing aisle numbers and placing the same item on every end-cap will further confuse these rugrats and ensure minimal loss.
In closing, our ideal candidate is a sheepish, overweight, uncoordinated, partially blind kid from Belize. Hopefully in finding the proper child, we will have that fatty so rattled he'll be lucky to exit the store with a handful of gummi worms.
Sincerely,
Geoffrey P. Giraffe
Founder and Overlord
See, it all makes sense.
Keep in mind, I still would enter the contest even at age 28 and I bet my enthusiasm would hardly be dampened if I won. Heck, I'm twice as big and fast as when I was 12, I would clean house. Let me know if they bring the contest back, ok?
Also: what has happened to the past winners? Assuming there were a few normal kids, did they expire at a young age, having reached a mythical state of enlightenment? Were they so satiated by their toy-fueled Nirvana that they no longer had anything to live for? Are they still now, years later, opening fresh toys from the spree and enjoying them in a leisurely garden where the sun always shines?
Or were they all the terrified fatties we saw winning year after year, no better for the experience?
The world may never know...
Thursday, February 10, 2005
Go USA!
There are some real morans here in Colorado. The biggest moran has to be our lousy governer, Bill Owens. Owens is trying to get the University of Colorado regents to fire a tenured professor, Ward Churchill, for his remarks in a published essay regarding 9/11. Nothing like a little Big Brother action here in Boulder. Free speech always gets a little less free when comments carry the weight of truth against the ordained policies of those in control.
3 PM here, about time for me to finally indulge in breakfast/lunch/dinner. In the meantime, I'm going to get a brain.
Wednesday, February 09, 2005
Alright, we're back!
Thanks to Kevin B. for bringing my website and web journal back to life! Huzzah!
So what did we miss? My hometown New England Patriots won another Super Bowl, hoorah to that! I returned from Salt Lake City for a brief vacation in Boulder, then I head back out to Mo'town a week from tomorrow for a snowboarding trip. In the meantime, I'm enjoying playing through Phantasy Star again and polishing up my long-delayed Ghosts N' Goblins rewritten FAQ.
A big happy birthday to Sheila (Feb 7th)! May you enjoy many more trips around the sun! :)
My flash training is coming along, as evidenced by the clumsy animation on my homepage (hey, I did it in 10 minutes, ok?) Bonus points to anyone who can identify the game I'm playing in the picture. There will be mucho web updates coming soon too, keep your eyes open!
I suppose the other big news is that I'll be living solo in about 32 days. It's nothing personal against my room mate, I'm just ready to have my own place for a while. It's actually the SAME place, but it'll be all mine. Gone will be cable TV, my AOL email account, and overpriced energy bills. A BIG plus is that I finally have a guide book proposal in the works and if it goes through (fingers crossed) I'll have a legit office to do actual research! Should be fun and I think Xanadu will appreciate the added space.
So, income taxes are paid too. For the first time in over 4 years, I'm getting a refund! It's not much, a little over $250 total, but heck it beats paying in. As a freelance writer I was listed as a small business, so I was taxed at a much higher rate (thanks Republican economics!) than if I had been a lackey somewhere else (like I am now). I'm using the money to pay off my Tascam 224, which by the way, still isn't working right. Bugger. I'll get it though.
That's the week that was. Not sure 100% what the weekend holds, but I hope to get into the mountains one of the days and work on the book proposal the other.
And a final PS. I have a new email: james@jamesfaqs.com. This will be replacing my bruplex@aol.com address, which I am REALLY and officially retiring on April 14, 2005.
Thanks to Kevin B. for bringing my website and web journal back to life! Huzzah!
So what did we miss? My hometown New England Patriots won another Super Bowl, hoorah to that! I returned from Salt Lake City for a brief vacation in Boulder, then I head back out to Mo'town a week from tomorrow for a snowboarding trip. In the meantime, I'm enjoying playing through Phantasy Star again and polishing up my long-delayed Ghosts N' Goblins rewritten FAQ.
A big happy birthday to Sheila (Feb 7th)! May you enjoy many more trips around the sun! :)
My flash training is coming along, as evidenced by the clumsy animation on my homepage (hey, I did it in 10 minutes, ok?) Bonus points to anyone who can identify the game I'm playing in the picture. There will be mucho web updates coming soon too, keep your eyes open!
I suppose the other big news is that I'll be living solo in about 32 days. It's nothing personal against my room mate, I'm just ready to have my own place for a while. It's actually the SAME place, but it'll be all mine. Gone will be cable TV, my AOL email account, and overpriced energy bills. A BIG plus is that I finally have a guide book proposal in the works and if it goes through (fingers crossed) I'll have a legit office to do actual research! Should be fun and I think Xanadu will appreciate the added space.
So, income taxes are paid too. For the first time in over 4 years, I'm getting a refund! It's not much, a little over $250 total, but heck it beats paying in. As a freelance writer I was listed as a small business, so I was taxed at a much higher rate (thanks Republican economics!) than if I had been a lackey somewhere else (like I am now). I'm using the money to pay off my Tascam 224, which by the way, still isn't working right. Bugger. I'll get it though.
That's the week that was. Not sure 100% what the weekend holds, but I hope to get into the mountains one of the days and work on the book proposal the other.
And a final PS. I have a new email: james@jamesfaqs.com. This will be replacing my bruplex@aol.com address, which I am REALLY and officially retiring on April 14, 2005.
Wednesday, February 02, 2005
Happy groundhog's day! Today is also the birthdays of Jerry Brewer and Angelique Baffi, for those wanting to send card/gifts/cash donations.
I returned from the Outdoor Retailer Show yesterday. It was a good time, as the outdoors industry is a lot more laid back than say, the coffee grinder industry or the aluminum hex wrench industry. Met lots of nice folks and got to hob-nob with Mormons in Salt Lake City(AKA Mo'Town).
Anyhow, I have a dearth of free time today because it's my last flash class! Wish me luck on animating my giraffes. More later, alligator.
I returned from the Outdoor Retailer Show yesterday. It was a good time, as the outdoors industry is a lot more laid back than say, the coffee grinder industry or the aluminum hex wrench industry. Met lots of nice folks and got to hob-nob with Mormons in Salt Lake City(AKA Mo'Town).
Anyhow, I have a dearth of free time today because it's my last flash class! Wish me luck on animating my giraffes. More later, alligator.
